these F*&#ing sock are so hard! I can see 2 mistakes already after one pattern repeat. (each repeat is 20 rows) the mistakes are on the same row about 15 rows back. So there is now way in hell I am ripping these socks back to fix the problem. I know what I did wrong (cabled in the front instead of the back) so one heart has a flaw and one cable is going the wrong way...
I love this pattern but the yarn I am using barely shows the intricate pattern. I'm not sure if I should carry on with the pattern or just knit stitch the rest of the way.. It has taken me about 6 hours to get threw one and a bit repeats on a tiny little circular needle and my fingers feel like they are falling off. I'm not even doing 2 socks at a time! So I have to go threw this one more time for the next sock.... I want to pull mu hair out.
Speaking of hair, my hair seems to be getting a little lighter for some reason. I haven't dyed it at all. In fact I cut most of the old blond crap out of my hair and dyed over the rest. So I mean all of my hair is getting lighter. It's a little weird.
Last night I had a horrible sleep. I dreamt that Drew cheated on me with this wonderful girl that he used to work with at Starbucks in North Vancouver. I mean I was crushing on her. She was that wonderful. Anyways. In my dream we were in this old western movie like town. We had to walk everywhere and there were streetlights to control all of us pedestrians.
I remember running around trying to hunt her down. I was so mad because we were all friends before Drew and her hooked up. It's funny because I wasn't mad at Drew in my dream but I was going to kill her even though he did the nasty too. Weird how you react to things in dreams.
I woke up in a coughing fit and then saw my beautiful husband sleeping beside me. Mouth open snoring slightly and I was beyond happy that he was in bed with me. I decided to play hookie from the gym so I could snuggle with my Drew.
I am so happy that I am Drew's and Drew is mine.
While I am gushing about my perfect little life with my perfect husband and two perfect dogs I should tell you guys that I have been working very hard at the gym and also with my food intake. I am at my heaviest weight ever and plan on loosing pounds like crazy. With the guidance of my dietitian and my personal trainer I plan on having this beat within the next year and a half. Drew plays a huge part in this because he is supporting me by not bring shitty food into the house. He is helping me overcome my sugar addiction and making sure that our good friend doesn't bring fatty foods and sugary foods into the house either.
My plan is to get to 180 pounds. This may be heavy for a women, but I feel that it is reasonable and attainable for myself to get to that weight. I don't think that I should be telling myself that I can be 120 pounds when my body and structure would never allow it.
Wish me luck. I"m spending loads of time, energy and money in this. And I will make it happen. I have the perfect life, however I'm not happy with myself and don't believe that I will be until I am a healthier person.
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