Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year. Like the first Christmas without grandpa was hard.

This thanksgiving will be the one year marker of Kim's death. It was the last family dinner that we got to share with Kim.

Drew's sister came from New Westminister to visit and Drew and I both got the day off as well. (which never happens) Everyone did something. Drew sliced the turkey, Drew's sister made a salad and I did the gravy. The conversation was great. We spoke about the pets, how much Kim loved Whiskey the cat and our Lola. We talked about farts and poop at work and had everyone laughing over the dinner table.
It was perfect. And always will be, in my mind.

Its still very hard on Drew, and worse when he sees others have moved on.

I could not imagine not having a mother at the age of 24. And I get really sad thinking about being motherless. And then the tears start flowing.

Drew and I had/have different relationships with our mothers, I know. But to be in his shoes is heart breaking. One year without a mother feels very short. We still expect to get a call at anytime from her.

We cherish everything that we have of hers. A silly t-shirt that she gave him for his last birthday. One that we both know he will never wear. But its a keepsake none the less. We don't have much of hers so we feel that we have to keep everything we have received from her. I some how inherited her sewing machine. It's large, heavy and it doesn't work at all. But We have kept it for reasons unbeknown to us.

I wish that everyone got to see Kim's quirky since of humor. It took a long time for Kim to warm up to me. And me to warm up to her. I believed that she hated me all the way up until her death bed.

When we were in the hospice she told me lots of stories when it was just me and her. She also told me that she loved me and that she now knew why Drew loved me. She told me that I was a very good care aide, and that I needed to be a nurse. And I have taken that to heart.

I feel Drew and I have gone threw too much for a young couple. The loss of our baby, the loss of my Gramps the loss of Kim and now Crohns Disease. All within 2 years. However I am a believer that because of all of these horrible things, Drew and I are a stronger couple.

this is the last picture that I took of my mother in law. Thanksgiving 2008. one week before her passing away. She looked beautiful even though she was sick. Not many people can do that.